Today’s Quote: “Everything I possess of any worth is a direct product of God’s love.”~ Beth Moore
Today’s Song: “Beloved”- Tenth Avenue North
God is my lover more deeply and more fully and in more ways than I could ever describe to anybody.
It would be like trying to tell an ocean with words.
It can’t be done.
He is my lover through and through.
I realize that might sound funny to most of us who think of the word “lover” in the wordly, sexual way. But God is my lover in the deepest sense that I, as a woman, desire love. In a strong, tender and very romantic way, if you will.
So much of how I know Him is through mornings.
Lazy, bright, new-day mornings.
As I lie there half awake, God whispers “come away with me.”
He wants to speak life into my heart.
To teach me how to live.
Teach me what’s true.
I have no idea.
I think I know, but then I finally collapse with the exhaustion of doing things my own way and surrender that little piece of myself to God. And then, when I least expect it, God’s glorious truth surprises and I can’t believe it. There it is- so much bigger than mine, so much brighter and realer.
He surprises me! He wants to.
And as long as I’ve known Him I know that I’ve just only begun to scratch the surface of his goodness and truth. He is SO good and SO true that man cannot look upon him lest he should be overcome and die (Exodus 33:20). And He wants to let me share in that, as much as my little life can contain.
How could I not slide out of bed and go meet Him. Morningness smearing my reality- but still happy, thirsty, eager, and girl.
This is my time. The time that calms my heart and steadies my perspective. The soft morning light and crisp air and I can feel Him all over me. All over life and earth. Oh, this time. Oh, this God.
And He actually wants to know what is on my heart. Deep in my heart and all the way through me. He wants to touch it all- get intimate with it all. All of me.
He wants to get down to those places that I can’t even identify- those places I live from.
Why in the world He does that? I have no idea. Why He loves and pursues my wholeness and freedom and me, the real me, so adamantly, I will never understand.
While the men of this world are chasing the late-night shallowest version of me, God is chasing my morning.
The honest, raw, deeply-imperfect mess- the part of me that worldly men will always (if not physically than emotionally) run away from.
And it is now clear that He made me with a need that only He can fill.
And I didn’t trust that He could do it so I turned to a man to satiate- latching and sucking for him to get deeper inside of me to touch and to know and to comfort all parts of me. And the world will say, “don’t put all your eggs in one basket,” so the hard will not- but for the soft of us who follow the rhythm more than the reason, we do, and for many of us it was a guy.
And it was ugly, scary and unsettling, and I still need to cry about it because I did not want to be seen that way. I didn’t want it to be that way.
But now I know love.
And God is trying to show it to you too. To show you that He is the way.
And that everything you were looking for in that guy and so much more, can be found only in Him.
And that He wants to surprise you too. In the little ways that you need to be surprised and that make you smile and know that you are truly alive and beautiful.
I know that sounds more poetic than real, and let’s face it, we don’t do everything that we read we ought in a book. But keep this thing in the back of your mind, even if it does not come to use for a long time:
Notice His whisper in the morning, as you lie there in your slumber. His quiet, sweet whisper to your wakening soul. Feel Him desiring you, tugging at you, wanting you to come away with Him and love you.
And, oh, that you might do it sometimes.
That you might stumble out and splatter yourself before His feet. Break open, raw right there before Him. And know that only He has what it will take to make you whole and new. Not only in spirit, but in truth.
That you would walk straight. Into each day with some protection, direction, peace and purpose- some more of those things that only He can give you.
To feel more relaxed and more focused throughout your day, that is truth.
God changes everything for the good.
But you need to give Him the time to do it.
Honest recognition of our own state. Utter brokenness. Utter dependency on Him. That is the beginning of real love. Real life.
And as you begin to unfold yourself before Him- He will come into the places and He will love. The parts of you that you are begging to show someone, someone to cradle and to care. The early morning mess of you. The real you.
“Come away with me,” He will whisper.
Forever’s Dare: I dare you to let God love you.