Day 13- Daddy

Today’s Quote: Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes.”  ~Gloria Naylor
For our last day in Phase One, I want to look at a very special man in your life: your Dad.

Whether he was a very present, loving and involved part of your life, or just the opposite, there is no doubt that his name stirs up something very deep in you.  

Dad’s have a great deal of influence on their little girls. And there's no doubt that yours did on you.

Maybe you never knew him. Maybe there was another man who took on that role, and did the best he could. Maybe not. 

Whatever it was like, your relationship (or lack of relationship) with your Dad is one of the most important in your life. 

All of your family relationships are important. They are your roots. 

But there is something extra special about a girl's Daddy. 

Something that stands entirely on its own. 

Now I am no expert on this, but I will tell you some important things I've learned...

From the time we are born, we girls have a deeply ingrained need to be loved and adored by a man without having to earn it, or ask for it. 

We need someone to be strong for us. 

A man to protect us and fight on our behalf. We crave this first from our fathers and then later in life from our lover.

Studies overwhelmingly point to a direct correlation between a woman’s behaviors in her love life and her relationship with her father. 

This early relationship affects so much about us; 
our confidence, 
our self esteem, 
our mannerisms of affection, 
all on a very subconscious level. And we carry most of those same feelings and behaviors right into our love lives.  

If we were well protected and supported by our father, we will usually expect that our lover will do the same to an extent. A woman who was abused by her father, is more likely to repeat that same victim mentality in her relationship.

Like it or not, your relationship (or lack of relationship) with your father is affecting you.

And the fact of the matter is that nobody’s father did a perfect job. Maybe nowhere even close, or maybe very close. 

Whatever the case, we are all in need of the necessary adjustments and healing that are attached to our Daddy.

Some of you are so angry at him. 

I know because God placed today’s lesson on my heart out of nowhere, and I know that it was for a reason. 

Somebody reading this has not talked to their father in months, or maybe even years, because of something that he did to hurt you. 

Somebody else has deep reservations as to whether to trust him again because of something that he did when you were little. 

Someone else can’t let go of the anger about how he passed away.

Ladies, we need some healing here.

And I know that some of you think that’s impossible. 

You think it’s too late. Too late to change the most rudimentary things about your relationship with your Dad. 

But it is never too late with Jesus. 

He wants you whole- 
                  and if this is something that is preventing you from becoming whole, then there's healing still to be done!

[If your issues with your Dad are really deep and traumatizing in nature, you should definitely seek professional Christian counseling.]

But for most of you, just the same way that we've been talking about releasing to the Lord, forgiving, and praying for a new kind of love for #9- You need to do the same thing with your father.

Because your anger and unforgiveness are going to hurt nobody more than yourself.

If you’re not sure where to start, just do the same things that we talked about doing with your #9. 

Release your pain and anger to God and pray that he give you a new outlook on the situation. A new kind of care and concern. 

Something of a settled wisdom, where you can still be concerned and care for him, but his lack is no longer your lack.
Because those empty places have been filled.

The only way I know to find that place is by letting Jesus Christ take over the role of a perfect father to you.

                              Because he will do it right.

Give it all to him and just allow him to love you through so deeply, that there is no empty place or lack in your heart from which you can feel cheated or pained. 

Sound distant and unrealistic??
Believe it or not this is one of His biggest desires for you, that you would just let Him love you.

One of the most beautiful and vivid relational pictures that God paints throughout scripture, is that of Him being like a father to  His children.

We often see His Hebrew follower referring to Him as “Abba”- a word that shows a close and personal relationship, like “Daddy”

God wants to be your Daddy. 

You are his little girl.
And there's something deep down inside all of us that wants to be Daddy's Little Girl. His little treasure. His princess.

1 John 3:1 talks about how very much God loves His children. 

Just like a good parent, He wants to give us what is best for us. 
And He's the only one who knows what's best for us.
The only one who can see everything, every need that is in every deep-down corner of your heart. He understands your weaknesses, he understands your shortcomings and he knows you intimately. 

His desire as your father is that you would feel wanted, protected, loved and valued. And He is the only one who can do that to the level that our souls desire..... and beyond!

He is the only one who can love a damaged soul back to perfect restoration. He is our everything, our rock, our Daddy. 

Would you just reach up today and hold that big, strong, hand that's reaching down to you??

Today's Dare: Ok, I apologize if you're getting sick of all of this writing and reflecting- But remember, Phase One is largely about bringing deep down things to the surface and pouring them out. And journaling, prayer, and flat screaming and crying are the best ways I know how to do that:)

Tomorrow we will begin Phase Two, with a new focus. But for today, more writing and reflecting.

Today I want you to write a letter to your Dad. One that you will probably never give him.

Get honest. Painfully honest. Talk about what you wish he gave you that he didn't, and what you wish he was there for that he wasn't.

Let this letter and these tears trail into a plea for your father in heaven to fill in all of those places that were left empty or hurt by your earthly father.

Pray that you would find softness and forgiveness toward him, and a new outlook on who your REAL ABBA father is, and how much he loves and cares for you.

Call Him "Daddy," as you talk to Him.
It might feel funny at first. But get used to the idea that you now have the perfect Daddy.

Don't be afraid to feel childlike. It's beautiful and healthy in this situation:)
Scroll up through today's post and as you look at the pictures, allow yourself to fall into that position as His treasured daughter.