Day 5- Where are you taking me, BTW?

Today’s Quote: “It’s not brave if you’re not scared.” ~ Bounce (the movie)
 Today’s Song: “Stronger”- Mandisa

Hello Beautiful Girl! How are you feeling today?

Whatever it is, I just need to tell you right now that you are so important to your heavenly father. No matter what any person on this planet has done to you, or made you believe about yourself, you are a woman of tremendous value. Treasured and deeply loved.

I know that this healing process is going to take time for you. But hang in there. Where you are heading is so worth it.

Today I want to give you some insight into what we're going to be focusing on over the next 8 days, the remainder of Phase One.

We have some hurdles that need jumping. Some hurdles that we need to learn to leap over with a little more height and composure, lest we end up flat on our face as we have in the past

Let’s face it, there’s A LOT standing in our way as we're trying to do this! Ourselves for starters. 
But if we're ever going to actually BE DIFFERENT, there are a few things that we need to learn to handle differently.

3 things, in particular, that I want to really hone in on over these next 8 days.

The first is this...

*Learning to tend to your spirit. 

 A lot of people think that the key to a successful breakup is the moving and shaking; 
staying busy, taking up a new hobby, 
dating other guys, 
that sort of thing. 

The logic is that if your mind is distracted and you don’t have time to sulk, before you know it you will be on with your life.

Busyness and routine definitely do have their place in this process, but if we are going to come out the other end of an intense relationship completely whole and restored, it is going to take more than that

Deep down we know it. 

We need to deal with our stuff.

Because when we don’t, the outcome is never good. It’s walls and pride and a big fat overcompensating outlook on life. We get scared of ever being in that situation again, so we harden up.

And I’m not trying to put anyone down, I’m the worst of us all!

But I've found that the most practical step I can take to ensure a level-headed and optimistic outlook, is to mind my spirit.

I think that a lot of times we have this idea that just because something is spiritual, it isn’t practical.  But really nothing will be more practical to your life than learning to focus on and maintain the well-being of your spirit. Nothing.

Nothing has more of an impact over
how you live, 
how you relate to people, 
what kind of friend you are, 
what kind of family member you are, 
and ultimately what kind of woman you will become! 

The state of your spirit is reflected in everything you do, because ultimately it is the real you!

“You do not have a soul, you are a soul. You have a body.”~C.S. Lewis 

And in crazy times like this, the real you is in need of some tending to.

The second thing that we are going to be focusing on is:

*What to do with all of the EmOtioNs that bombard us along the way.

How many of us just know that our rash emotions are going to be a problem for us along this journey? 

After all, we probably would have packed it up and called it a day a long time ago if it were completely up to our logic. 

But then, in busted Miss Emotions like she always does. 

“What are you doiiiiiiiiingg? We neeeeeeeeeeeed him! We loooooooooove him!”

But the truth is we feel torn. 

We want to be emotional and passionate. 
We want to be real

And for many of us, the thought of trying to leave or not talk to this guy anymore would feel like we’re not being true to ourselves. Like we’re going against our heart. 

And who wants that?

None of us want to be a boring old dillweed. We want passion!

But what we need is balance.

The kind that lies somewhere between being rigidly self disciplined, and being pulled around by every emotional whim. 

The place where good decisions, healthy passions and being yourself lie. 

Because while a lot of young women may look at a very well-disciplined life and think “there’s no freedom in that.” There is equally no freedom in needing to satiate every emotional longing that surges through your body. And that’s where most young women struggle. We may not be slaves to routine, but we are slaves to our own passions. And despite what we may think freedom looks like, most of us have not been able to find it for ourselves.

There are certain urges that we need to learn how to say ‘no’ to, in order to find a bigger, more long-term and better type of fulfillment. A better 'yes' than what is available right then.

And I’m here to help with that too. This blog is going to deal a lot with emotions, because we deal a lot with emotions.

And thirdly and lastly, I want to help prepare you for:

3. How to handle #9

This one’s tough because each girl’s situation is so unique and difficult in it’s own way.

But what I’m going to try to do is help you get a level head about this guy.

A lot of women feel as though the only way to get over a guy is to turn him into such a jerk in their own mind that they are finally able to just bundle him up and throw him out. 

This never works.  

For starters, it will make us grow bitter, 
and for finishers we are bound to, somewhere in our future, see something of sentiment that reminds us that he’s really not 100% jerk- 

and then we just end up confused. 

So this is not about self-trickery.  

This is about us actually coming to a place where we have a healthy outlook on the matter. 

To not be chronically attached to him anymore. 

To learn to differentiate actions that are healthy for us, from reactions that are not. To be sane and stable, kind but firm wherever he is involved.

Time Out: We will also have an entire day to talk about the games that guys tend to play during a breakup situation. That’s right. Just like we have our little games, you better believe that guys have theirs too. And just in case he is that type, we want to be well prepared should any of this nonsense go down.

So let’s quickly review. 

Over the next eight days we are going to be focused on growing in the following areas: 

our spiritual health, 
rebalancing our emotions, 
and knowing how to handle #9. 

It might sound like a lot, but remember that these areas are all very much intertwined. Our spiritual health has a lot to do with taming our emotions, which have gone a little haywire because of the guy.

Now let me end by telling you something that you might need to be reminded of. 

You are smart.

God has given you so much that the world has not even caught a glimpse of yet. 

So many gifts and talents. So much beauty and so much energy! All just waiting to be channeled into a worthy cause, and it will bloom. You will bloom! 

You’ll bloom brighter than you ever even knew it was in you to be. It’s true!

Hang in there. 

God has a way of bringing everything full circle and making things that were once blurry, very very crystal clear.

“Therefore judge nothing before it’s appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring light to what’s hidden in darkness.”~ 1 Corinthians 4:5

Today’s Dare: 
Throughout the remainder of phase 1, I want you to wear a bandaid, around your finger, on your hand, or somewhere else you’ll see it. Of course you can change it everyday so that it doesn’t get nasty, but the point is this…. Every time you look down at that bandaid I want you to just, in your mind, ask God to cover over your open wounds. That in this vulnerable time, as you are trying to bring things to the surface and face a lot of your obstacles, that He would be a kind of band aid to your spirit, covering and protecting you from the harsh environment around you.