Today’s Quote: “Emotions are a gift from God, but they were meant to enhance life, not rule it.” – Joanna Weaver
Today’s Song: “Forward”- Mali Music
One of the most difficult hurdles most of us face when ending a relationship is our emotions.
Would you agree?
Again, not that emotions are a bad thing, but we want them to be part of a healthy balance, rather than get carried away by them. Do you see the difference?
I think that we all want that.
We want to have that beautiful mix between self-discipline and spontaneity. Good habits that keep us on top of our game, with plenty of room for spur-of-the-moment adventure and romance.
Maybe you are naturally very well-balanced this way, and have been able to remain so throughout your relationship.
But if you are like most of us, chances are that the big whirlwind of being in love has swept you far more into that emotional realm than any reasonable person should like to be.
It’s like we get so used to living in this world that is all about our feelings, that we soon find it hard to separate that from our logic.
And while there is definitely something reliable about our God-given instincts as females, if you’re anything like me, your intuition probably started going a bit HaYwiRE somewhere back in the intensity of your relationship.
Looking back now, I can’t believe that I did some of the things I did and tolerated some of the things I tolerated, all under the fluffy pretense of love.
For example (and this example might sound totally immature to some of you, but others of you will totally get it), did anything like this ever happen to you?:
You started to get a bad feeling about another girl in your boyfriend’s circle of friends. Maybe she was even one of his buddies’ girlfriends. But your instincts told you that he had some feelings for her that went beyond normal friendship stuff. So you confront him about it, but when you do, you’re met with comments like these:
“Wow! Are you serious!?”
“You are so ridiculous!”
“How could you ever think that I would like (buddies name)’s girlfriend!”
“Yea, I mean, she’s a pretty girl, but do I like her, NO! I like you.”
Or, my all time favorite..
“You have serious, serious issues!” (just what we needed to hear)
But then maybe a few months later, come to find out, you were right all along. You busted him in a text or a message, after he had already convinced you that you
were totally wrong about it, and that your way of thinking is so messed up.
What the heck!?
Things like that can really mess with us, girls, can’t they?
Something that I remember so clearly from my past is constantly trying to juggle all of these contradicting feelings, like:
- Wanting to trust what your boyfriend is saying, while trying to fight that gut-wrenching feeling that he’s lying again. Or,
- Wanting to believe that he’s changed, but knowing deep down that he’s just trying to make you happy.
- Or how about the weird combination of loving him, feeling sorry for him, and hating him all at the same time?
All of these feelings that we have to juggle, juggle, juggle, all while trying to maintain an appearance of stability and confidence.
Is it any wonder that way deep down underneath our skin we are exhausted?!
Oh sweetheart, it’s not just you. It’s the very nature of the thing.
But the good news is that God is now trying to teach you something new; to take you out of that old, unstable place of dizzying emotion. If you could be willing enough to move forward, and wise enough to use it as a learning experience, good things can come from this. Balance can come from this.
Few things are more useful to a women’s life than being able to properly balance her emotions. And few things make a woman more rare and respectable.
Don’t be frustrated if you feel far away from that. A woman is never just like that by chance. She is like that because she went through the necessary lessons and seasons to get there.
So be grateful that you have come to this point. It’s a hard place to be, but it has SO MUCH potential.
God is calling you to something here, and it is good.
“Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden from you no more; with your own eyes you will see them.” ~ Isaiah 30:20
But you need to let the truth speak louder than your feelings for some time.
Again,
not so that you will become unemotional or robotic-
but rather to bring yourself back to a healthy and balanced state from which you will be able to make good choices.
Like I said yesterday, during your relationship you have most likely tottered your way to the emotionally rash end of the see-saw. The goal here is to land you at a healthy balance.
When I first made the firm decision to let go of the relationship that was no good for me, I buried myself in routine.
I worked 40-hour weeks, volunteered, took a class, and went to the gym almost every day. It sounds like the girl you want to punch in the face I know, and I assure that I am normally so not that way.
But I knew that if I had a day- even a few hours- of sitting in my house, I would fold.
I would so be up on that internet trying to figure out what he was doing, or just torturing myself with music and thoughts and pictures and EWWWW!! I just wanted to be over that!
And if I was ever going to be, it had to come from a period of serious self-discipline.
Now, not that you are such a slouch like I was, or I don’t know maybe you are. But either way, I truly believe that there is nothing nothing nothing so good for you right now as simply keeping busy with productive and meaningful things.
Things that move you in the direction that you want to go in life.
And listening to the truth of God’s word- rather than your emotions. Keep releasing all of your hurts and concerns to Him, and allow Him to show you what to do with your time.
“But if we’re willing to let the truth speak louder than our feeling, and long enough that our feelings finally agree, we can be far more than okay. We can be delivered to a place where the air is crisp, the enemy is whipped, and the view is magnificent.”- Beth Moore
Go get it girl!
Today’s Dare: Today’s Dare has 3 parts, so it’s going to take some time, but it’s important.
1. First, I want you to take out your journal and draw a picture of a big messy tornado. That is a picture of your emotional experience with #9. Now draw a straight line starting in the middle of that tornado and coming outside of it. This is the line you are trying to walk. You need to get outside of the tornado. And yes, it will require putting your head down for some time and pushing through the storm. The point is to cut out all activities that keep you tossing around in the tornado, and focus on those that bring you in a straight line to the direction you want to head in.
Now, time to get walking on that straight line. Here are your first 2 steps…
2. Clean or organize your room, car or closet. Whichever is the messiest and driving you the most crazy. Cleanliness and organization of our stuff, has a very reciprocal effect on our spirit. Maybe even pray or cry while you’re cleaning. It sounds funny, but it’s emotionally symbolic.
3. And lastly, sit down in your nice clean space, and organize your life. Book up your time with activities that have value and are meaningful to you. Don’t leave room for long periods of alone time. No sulking! It’s too early, and the winds are still too strong for that.
