If you haven’t officially broken it off with #9 and are looking to do so, my best advice is to do it in a way that is classy and to the point.
I think a handwritten letter works best. And don’t sit there while he reads it for crying out loud! Guys can have this way of devaluing even our most treasured concerns, and when we try to explain them face to face, we often leave feeling as if our heart was overlooked. A handwritten letter not only allows you much greater jurisdiction in what you say, but also blocks him from arguing with you or trying to convince you that your morals or feelings are wrong.
Limit your letter to 2 pages, and remember, classy and to the point. As tempting as it may be to cut him up or try to make him feel guilty, if anything, take equal responsibly for the relationship going awry. It takes two to tango, and you will thank me later.
Do not write anything that warrants a response. Ask him to please not try to contact you as you are trying to deal with this in a healthy way, and you feel it will only complicate things.
Here is a sample letter that might help you. Hopefully you can use something from it. Of course, make it your own.
I’m writing you this letter to let you know that I want things to be over between us. I apologize for the bluntness, but after serious consideration I have come to realize that this is a step that I need to take in order to put my focus on my future and my personal growth. I’m feeling right now that God is calling me to spend some time on my own development which is going to require some serious focus and change for me. You know how much I love you, but I want to learn how to love well, and figure out where God wants me at this time. I’m sorry if this letter seems so impersonal, but please understand that I just don’t want to make things more difficult or more complicated than they need to be, and I apologize for my part in anything negative that has developed between us. I would greatly appreciate it if you would please not contact me over the next few months, as I really need some time to myself. I know that might sound selfish, please just know that it’s nothing against you. This is just something that I need to do.
Love, Future Ms. Fabulous ß(your name here)